Have you ever?

Have you ever wanted to say so much but only so little came to your mind?

I have.

So many times as I drowned in a bottle and raced to the end of a blunt I had millions of thoughts running through my mind but I didn’t know just how to express them, afraid of laying myself bare before you for fear of what you’d think of the monsters that lurk in the crevices of my twisted mind.

Have you ever seen so many people around you happy and smiling as if their greatest desires had just been fulfilled by a genie in scenes straight out of Alladin?

I have.

Every day while stuck between my sorrows and regrets all I could see were happy couples and groups of friends laughing as they walked along the street sharing stories of events they’d been at the previous weekend, and how one of them had passed out during pre-drinks and barely even made it to the venue, but somehow, cheered on by his friends slapped himself silly and got there in the end.

Have you ever just wanted to quit your life and live as a mountain goat even?

I have.

Just get away from it all, albeit temporarily, and live in silence with the only sounds you could hear for miles is the stream as it falls into a shallow puddle and birds chirping above your head as you ponder what the universe has in store for you next? What hurdle will you have to jump over next? Will you give in to ‘circumstances’ rather than be the strong, self-reliant and confident person your mother always says you are when she has that gut feeling motherly instinct that something isn’t quite right with her dear baby?

In the midst of it all, however, I am reminded that the same hammer that breaks glass also forges steel.

From the ashes, forged by flames, a new life is formed and art created.

 

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