Ola! I would speak minion but sadly I don’t know the language. Heavens I love these little things(almost as much as Oh-the Boov).. I am sorry, I’m 20 something on my ID but five in my head. My best friends know this all too well 🙂
Well now that I have shown you I’m really a toddler with a keyboard, on to today’s subject; the line
*thunder strikes, cat hits a garbage bin, brakes screech*
Seriously though, I don’t know where this stuff is coming from.
Yesterday I was on a coffee date with my best friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while because of her crazy schoolwork and let’s just say watching paint dry is more fun than her life the past month.
*ducks from incoming shoe* Well it’s true!
I got around to telling her all I’ve been writing about here in detail and several times she almost choked me for not telling her some of these things earlier before I did a post about them.
So I very quickly turned the heat on her about this boy she likes. You should have seen how quickly she turned pink and almost hit me with a teaspoon.
In February she went through this hurt with some other douche who tried to come back again and ended up causing more hurt. I always had a gut feeling about him and tried telling her severally but..let me hold my tongue for the sake of all the feminists out there.
Onto this boy who causes my best friend’s eyelids to flutter like a butterfly’s wings. They are in the same class and started talking around the same time this hurt of hers happened.
An occasional hello, small talk which escalated into hanging out and really becoming great friends. It turns out he had also gone through a breakup and my best friend got him through it through her constant presence in his life.
Yeah, heartbreaks are being dished out left, right and centre. Hurry while stocks last!
Okay okay that was the last one. Moving on…
So they continue being friends and eventually the guy confesses his feelings for her. He is and I quote “..sweet without trying, cute, smart, witty, an awesome listener and an amazing person overall..”. Small problem-His flaws.
Where do you draw the line with someone’s flaws? When do they become a problem for you? When do you say you cannot handle them?
We are human. It is our nature to be imperfect. No matter how hard we try to be perfect we can’t. In this same breath we have our flaws. Lord knows I embrace mine. I love them because they make me who I am and I wouldn’t dare change for anything or anyone.
However, it gets to a point where a compromise has to be met if they are a serious issue in a relationship. For example, I may love my food really salty while she may not. Do I start insisting she eat salt? No, we compromise.
This boy, she says, is sometimes immature and rash; a trait that exists in all of us in varying quantities. These factors along with her own issues are keeping her from dating him. He has shown her severally that he is willing to wait as long as it takes for her to get over the other guy, never rushing her and always there for her to talk to.
The most recent was when in the middle of their conversation he took her hand in his, placed it on his chest, inhaled deeply while staring deep into her hazel eyes and said “..When you’re ready know you have a place in my heart..”
Smoother than hair gel is what I told her.
No matter how badly a guy wants to bed you, he will not do these things. Help you with your ex? That’s baggage we avoid like a nuclear waste site. He is showing real genuine effort and affection for her.
Where to draw the line when the flaws become too big an issue is her concern.
My take was this; if you can communicate your concerns about things that bother you about the other person, it is possible for them to adjust accordingly or for you to help them change if need be. Only if you communicate and talk to the person.
In the words of K-Dot a.k.a. Kendrick Lamar, “communication saves relations”. Whether diplomatic or personal doesn’t matter.
I said earlier that a relationship should grow you and make you want to be a better person. If these flaws of yours are a genuine concern for her then together you can work something out. They should not stop the other person from loving you. I advocate for keeping them but adjust accordingly if they’re a genuine problem.
Find where to draw the line at.