Focus On You

I trust this finds all of you well.

Over the past few weeks I’ve taken you through my heartbreak and I’m glad I have. This has helped me immensely and it has made me a better person.

Yesterday the WiFi in the office was down and this gave me and my boss an opportunity to socialise(sigh, the times we live in). It takes a WiFi outage to talk to my boss about life matters. We started talking about a certain local artist who has a golden voice with a pretty face and killer curves that can put a Fanta bottle to shame but her song writing is quite questionable.

She has had a few stints in acting and he is of the opinion that she should quit music and grow herself as an actor. We discussed this at length and ended up digressing into relationships. How, I do not recall.

What we both agreed on is that being in a certain type of relationship does more harm than good. Note that I said ‘certain type’.

The type where every minute of the day the person is on your mind or texting you or vice versa. To the point where you cannot wholly focus on your work without thinking about them. It may feel like love or whatever you want to call it but it isn’t.

This does more harm than good to you because you will feel incomplete if the person doesn’t talk to you whether by choice or not if they are engaged in something and it reduces your productivity whether in the workplace or outside.

The ideal type of relationship that we both agreed on is the type where you both are your own people when apart but one thing when together, you get?

When you aren’t near each other you both focus on doing your own things and getting work or school work done. When you come together whether on a date or at home, you are friends before you are a couple. You complement each other and connect on an intellectual level before the physical level-pun intended.. No? Okay bye.

A relationship that grows you as a person because you are challenged by your better half into fully exploiting your potential and doing better each and every day for yourself and them.

If your relationship isn’t like what I’ve described please rethink it. Model it into something more than just kissing and coitus into a friendship first.

I say this because being single has given me time to reflect on the relationships I’ve had. True, I’m at the start of my dating life but I’ve picked up a bit of stuff.

I rushed into a few of them, I wasn’t honest with myself and sometimes I didn’t love the other person as much. What I should have done is focused on myself first.

Grow yourself into someone you would want to date without being narcissistic about yourself. Make yourself the type of person who attracts others not for your physical features but for your actions and thoughts.

This is where I’m at in my life right now.

I’m a psychology student, in my  early 20’s, interning at a social media marketing agency, getting paid, running a webshow who just closed a massive marketing deal for a company that’s barely a year old.

I’m dating me right now.




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